Starting a new relationship is exciting, but it’s also a time when small mistakes can turn into big problems later. The first month sets the tone for everything that follows. If you want a strong, healthy relationship, there are certain habits you should drop early.
This isn’t about playing games or changing who you are, it’s about avoiding behaviors that push love away instead of pulling it closer. Here are 20 things women should stop doing in the first month of dating if they want something real to last.
1. Ignoring Red Flags Because You’re Hopeful
We’ve all done it, seen a warning sign but brushed it off because we really like someone. Maybe he cancels plans last minute a little too often, or he says something that rubs you the wrong way. You tell yourself, “It’s just early, he’ll change.”
But here’s the truth: people rarely change in the ways that matter most. If something feels off in the first month, pay attention. A man who truly respects you will show it from the beginning.
2. Falling Too Fast Before You Really Know Him
Chemistry is powerful, and when you meet someone who makes your heart race, it’s easy to get swept up. But love isn’t just butterflies—it’s about character, consistency, and how he treats you when the excitement fades.
Slow down. Let yourself like him, but don’t convince yourself he’s “the one” after three dates. Real love takes time to grow.
3. Changing Your Life to Fit His Schedule
In the beginning, it’s tempting to drop everything when he calls. You cancel plans with friends, skip your workout, or stay up too late just to keep talking. But losing yourself in a relationship never ends well.
A man who’s worth your time will respect your life outside of him. Keep your routines, your friendships, and your independence. If he’s serious, he’ll make space for you without you having to give up everything else.
4. Overanalyzing Every Text and Phone Call
“He took four hours to reply—does that mean he’s losing interest?”
“He used a period instead of an exclamation point—is he mad at me?”
If you’re spending more time decoding his messages than actually enjoying the relationship, you’re setting yourself up for stress. People have lives, moods, and bad days. Unless he’s clearly pulling away, don’t assume the worst over small things.
5. Playing Hard to Get When You Actually Like Him
Some women think they need to act uninterested to keep a man chasing. But games get exhausting, for both of you. If you like him, show it. You don’t have to be clingy, but you also don’t have to pretend you don’t care.
The right man will appreciate your honesty. The wrong one will only stick around for the chase, and that’s not the kind of relationship you want.
6. Cutting Off Friends Just Because You’re in a New Relationship
Your best friend hasn’t heard from you in weeks. Your girls’ night out is canceled because you’d rather see him. It happens to all of us, but it’s a mistake.
Strong relationships don’t require you to abandon your friends. If he’s secure, he’ll encourage you to keep those connections. And if things don’t work out, you’ll be glad you didn’t isolate yourself.
7. Comparing Them to an Ex
Talking about past relationships too soon can kill the mood. Even if you’re just making a comparison (like “My ex never did that!”), it makes the conversation about the past instead of the present.
Let this new relationship be its own story. If the topic of exes comes up naturally, keep it brief. There’s plenty of time for those conversations later.
8. Trying to Fix Him Before You’ve Even Built a Connection
Maybe he’s messy, or he’s bad at texting back, or he wears the same shirt three days in a row. It’s tempting to start “helping” him improve, but that’s not your job, especially not in the first month.
You can’t change a man. You can only decide if you’re okay with him as he is. If you’re already making a list of things to “fix,” ask yourself: Am I dating him, or the potential version of him?
9. Sharing Your Deepest Secrets Too Soon
Being open is good, but oversharing too early can backfire. Telling him about your past traumas, family drama, or biggest insecurities in the first few weeks can create an unbalanced dynamic.
Let trust build naturally. A real connection doesn’t need to be rushed.
10. Acting Like You’re Already in a Serious Relationship
Calling him “boyfriend” before you’ve had the talk, expecting him to check in constantly, or getting upset when he makes plans without you, these are expectations that should come later, not in the first month.
Let the relationship grow at its own pace. If it’s meant to be serious, it will happen without you forcing it.
11. Pretending to Like Things Just Because He Does
You hate football, but you pretend to love it because he does. You act like you’re into his favorite band when you’ve never heard of them. It’s okay to have different interests!
A real relationship lets both people be themselves. If he’s worth keeping, he’ll like you for you, not for a version of you that’s pretending.
12. Ignoring Deal Breakers Because You’re Lonely
You know what matters to you; whether it’s honesty, ambition, or kindness. If he’s showing signs early on that he doesn’t align with your values, don’t ignore it just because you don’t want to be single.
Settling now will only lead to bigger regrets later.
13. Letting Jealousy Control You
You see a girl’s name pop up on his phone, and your stomach drops. You notice he liked someone’s photo, and you start overthinking.
A little jealousy is normal, but if you’re questioning him constantly, you’ll push him away. Trust is either there or it isn’t—and if it isn’t, that’s a bigger conversation to have.
14. Talking About Marriage, Kids, or Moving In Together
Even if you’re dreaming of the future, bringing up big commitments too soon can scare him off. Enjoy the present. If it’s real, those conversations will come naturally when the time is right.
15. Using Passive-Aggressive Comments Instead of Communicating
“I guess you’re just too busy to text me back.”
“It’s fine, do whatever you want.”
If something bothers you, say it directly. Passive-aggressive hints only create confusion and resentment.
16. Stalking His Social Media for Clues
Scrolling through his old photos, analyzing who he follows, or checking his “last seen” status won’t give you real answers. If you’re spending more time investigating than actually enjoying the relationship, it’s a bad sign.
17. Neglecting Yourself Because You’re So Focused on Him
Skipping workouts, eating poorly, or losing sleep just to spend more time with him will leave you feeling drained. A good relationship should add to your life, not take away from your well-being.
18. Putting Him on a Pedestal Before You Really Know Him
When you idealize someone too soon, you ignore their flaws—and that sets you up for disappointment later. See him as a real person, not a fantasy.
19. Saying “Sorry” for Everything
Apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong makes you seem insecure. Save “sorry” for when you actually mean it.
20. Staying Just Because You’re Afraid to Start Over
If you’re already unhappy in the first month, don’t waste time hoping it’ll get better. The right relationship shouldn’t feel like hard work this early.
Final Thoughts
The first month of dating should be fun, light, and full of discovery. If you’re doing these things, ask yourself: Am I acting out of fear or love?
A strong relationship doesn’t require you to twist yourself into someone you’re not. The right man will like you for you, not for who you’re trying to be for him.
Stop these habits now, and you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache later.
Read also: 6 Important Things High Value Feminine Women Look for in a Man
